I think that the most important thing I have learned so far in the 3 years I have been attending high school is that people are harsh. May be I am just sensitive, but still - people are rude. One person, who I consider a good friend basically told me that I really don’t have friends and no one really, truly likes me. I put on a smile and laughed along with her, trying to act like it was a funny joke, when it was like a blow through my heart. Also, I currently have the highest gpa I have ever had in my high school “career”. When I told a friend what my gpa was and that it is the best I have done in three years, he just looked at me like I was a dumb ass and didn’t deserve to be in his presence. At the end of the day, I can only really say is, “Fuck her, fuck him, fuck every one.”
I have my days when I am mean and rude, but deep down, when I say something, I don’t always mean it. May be these people were having one of those days - and I will pray for them tonight before I go to bed. May be they were having a good day and truly meant what they said. If it was the later of the two options, then I will repeat my self, fuck them. Sure, I am not the smartest and maybe I don’t have a fan group, but neither one of them are better than me. They have no right to try to push me down.
I just need to get out. I need to get away from these people. I am tired and running on low. I am stressed to the max and just want to run away; just sit on the floor and listen to music, go to the beach and sit in the sun.